-Friday, November 26, 2010-11:11 PM Y
Time flies. This week supposed to be my exams week but i filed for I grades last week so will be torturing myself next term by carrying forward all 4 papers to next term. That means within a week, i'll be doing 7 papers.. hopefully i wont die of exhaustion..haha! Many asked why i don clear at least 1 or 2 so that my next term wont be that bad. Yes, that was my initial plan, in week 13, 2 weeks before exam when dad was discharged from TTSH. I planned on 1-2. Attempted to study. Mum wasnt supportive of my studies, to the surprise of my relatives, as i was expected to be part of the 'night duty' team. Tried studied by dad's bedside, but its just too tough cos most of the time im thinking of how to 'adjust' dad as he couldnt move.. Night duty also means very light sleep as dad is like an owl, awake at night. Thus my morning / afternoon is usually spent sleeping. Of course, sleeping in the day isnt that easy..with noises and relatives visits etc... so in week 14 monday, i couldnt take it anymore. decided that i shall cast away everything. I feel less pressured when im fully focused on my dad. Just nice that day the hospice doc came to our house. randomly got her to write me a letter then i submitted to sch and emailed all my profs abut my situation. They all supported my case.:)
Today is also the 10th day dad is put on feeding tube. We persuaded here and there that at last he decided to just try it out. Of course, he suffered 1 day 1 night without food, water and medicine. Even when we showed him a piece of paper with 3 choices: Yes, No, Consider, he kept pointing at No, till on 16nov, he gave himself a chance of surviving. If he'd continued rejecting the insertion of tube, he would have pass on within a few days. Honestly we were not prepared... 16nov 12 plus..i sat beside him..he's scared.. kept holding on to our hands very tightly when the nurse took out the long tube from her bag. Haha actually i was also very very scared at that time..but gotta 'act' strong. The 4 of us joked and laughed trying to divert his attention while the nurse insert the tube through his nostril into the stomach. Process took awhile... Done! Then we were taught how to feed.
As days passed, his health weakened. His legs muscles deteriorated. Currently he can no longer stand straight and totally rely on us to tranfer him from bed to wheelchair and vice versa. His phlegm increased..such that he is at risk of lung infection, but luckily not now..
Since 3 days ago i was down with lymph node infection..so cant take care of bird. mum hired a nurse..damn zai..although she's very thin, she had alot of strength such that she can managed pulling dad up on the bed alone. omg..
Anyway..i feel so lucky to have my hubby around. Knowing that i cant go out anymore during the weekdays, he always buy dinner for my family and stayed at home with me. Ahma treat him like his grandson-in-law already..LOL!