-Thursday, March 18, 2010-9:08 PM Y
Just feel like writing down how much sadness i have when typing this. am i crying or what or i feel my tears dropping as i typed this.
Yesterday was the first time i witness how much pain he has when he had breathing difficulties. He grabbed the nutella hard and pant.. and he gave me a fake and painful smile just to bluff me that he's alright. mum says he tolerated since sunday. doc says probably tumorSSSSS in the lungs grow big and breathing diffulthes is the symptoms. then today reach home after mnc class. got ranted cos i talked. i insensitive la.. as the most painful moment i said daddy jiayou wor hugg hug k. stupid la i meant invisible one, a mental support one as i know he heading to toilet. then made him angry. after calming down he said it's alright. mei shi.
now? outside his room but don dare to go in talk to him.
reality sets in. but im shock that it's too fast. or is it time to be prepared? ppl say i thot must alr prepare long ago. but i think im too positive to even think what will happen in future.
I FEEL LIKE A SINNER NOW. HE"S PANTING LIKE MAD. im cryin. heart bleed. tears r