-Friday, March 19, 2010-9:17 PM Y
19 march. At 830am, i called ncc to arrange an 'emergency' appointment for my dad. squeezed out a slot for him at 1115. At first he didnt want to go..then after persuading, he went lor.
Doc said the cancer spread to the bones. omg so that 's why his rib cage pain then breathing pain also. gave him a big bottle of morphine to be taken daily every 4 hourly. he's better i guess. but things wont be looking good in the upcoming months i guess.
mum said her mum which means my grandma that i never met before passed away in may 83 due to lung cancer..went through a very painful process then coulnt make it. haiya but anyway ya..now i realised to be sick is a very slow and painful process..so health is really important.
Hope i can still focus and get back on track.. these 2 days our family in high state of vigilance, even got to call our uncle over..
i believe the more sufferings you have on earth, the better the life u will get in heaven in future. this is what mum says.
Next week and the following is finally coming. Everything will chop chop end on 13th apr. I have test+presentation+ shipping final exam next week follow by 2 presentations the following week and 3 papers then everything will end sweetly!!!:)
Counting down to 13th april 2010!
sigh back to equity proj~ cant believe we're the first group to present at 8.30am that day.
-Thursday, March 18, 2010-9:08 PM Y
Just feel like writing down how much sadness i have when typing this. am i crying or what or i feel my tears dropping as i typed this.
Yesterday was the first time i witness how much pain he has when he had breathing difficulties. He grabbed the nutella hard and pant.. and he gave me a fake and painful smile just to bluff me that he's alright. mum says he tolerated since sunday. doc says probably tumorSSSSS in the lungs grow big and breathing diffulthes is the symptoms. then today reach home after mnc class. got ranted cos i talked. i insensitive la.. as the most painful moment i said daddy jiayou wor hugg hug k. stupid la i meant invisible one, a mental support one as i know he heading to toilet. then made him angry. after calming down he said it's alright. mei shi.
now? outside his room but don dare to go in talk to him.
reality sets in. but im shock that it's too fast. or is it time to be prepared? ppl say i thot must alr prepare long ago. but i think im too positive to even think what will happen in future.
I FEEL LIKE A SINNER NOW. HE"S PANTING LIKE MAD. im cryin. heart bleed. tears r
-Thursday, March 11, 2010-10:41 PM Y
And so on 8 march was the day we chose our punggol 4-room flat at HDB hub - Punggol sails opposite the punggol bus interchange. Now, another additional liability, apart from baby's car, our home! It's really another milestone.
I have a new aim too. wont be looking for internship this coming 4 month summer holidays, but i'll complete 2 modules instead. So..im thus heading for graduation in jul next year rather than having to extending beyond another term that only graduates me in dec. Hehe the thought of this motivates me to strive.
My parents is defitenely supportive of this. I know dad really wants to see us graduate fast! (Year 2011 graduation..after that get job and get married and get flat in 2014) This phrase shall be embedded in me, reminding to work towards these new hopes and direction.
It's maritime econs test tmr. It's the second test in my term surprisingly cos all my modules only have assignments, not mid terms! 3 more projects and presentations to clear. Lysias, please buck up!!